Lord High Lord of Pranks
by tie-dye-flag
Summary: When Swaine pulls a little prank on Oliver and the others, Drippy decides to return the little joke with another prank of his own! But what sort of trick does this Lord High Lord of the Fairies have in mind, exactly? Oneshot


**I own nothing. Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Oi, that was a proper tidy breakfast, eh, Ollie?"

"Uh-huh! Esther sure is a good cook."

Oliver the thirteen year old wizard and Mr. Drippy the Lord High Lord of the Fairies sat by a fresh water river of the northern Summerlands, each holding a hand towel and their toothbrushes.

The boy pulled out a small tube of toothpaste they got from Ding Dong Dell and squeezed some onto his horse hair brush before passing it to his fairy friend. Drippy squirted out the pale paste onto his yellow brush.

They suddenly heard the rustling of some bush behind them. The duo turned around to see a certain blonde tamer and a porcine prince walking towards them. "Hey, guys," Esther waved her hand to them, her golden armlet catching the sunlight.

"Oi, hey there! Let me guess; need some tidy toothpaste?"

"Yep; the last thing we need on this journey is a toothache." Esther held her own toothbrush with a pink painted handle while Marcassin's was a noble purple with golden swirls on the handle.

"I had a cavity once when I was ten…"Oliver winced at the memory, "…I could hardly eat anything for a week."

Drippy prepared to wash his teeth. "Oi, dun worry, mun! That's why we have tooth brushes and paste!" He pushed his tiny brush into his mouth…only to have his tiny eyes dilate and mouth scrunch in an unusual shape.

"Oomph!? Blah! Ptoowey!" He spat out the white foaming paste into the dirt. "Ptoo, ptooh…blimey, what the flip is with my toothbrush?!"

The prince of Hamelin raised his eyebrows, his brush already in his mouth. "Hmm? Is something wro-"

"Mmph?!"

"Blach!"

Esther and Oliver's mouths puckered in a similar, ridiculous fashion to the fairy as they spat out, repelling the minty paste from their mouths.

"Ack…mm brsh wsh all sour!"

Esther cupped her hands in the river and drank the water from the steam to wash the terrible flavor out of her mouth. "Ahh…Hey, Marcassin, isn't your brush sour too?"

The Great Sage inspected his toothbrush. "No, my brush is fine…"

The energetic fairy jumped irritably. "So why do all our flippin' brushes taste like they've just been covered in-Eh?" He suddenly paused, trying to tune his ears to his surroundings.

Oliver and the others listened to the environment as well, and discovered the sound of someone struggling to contain their laughter.

A familiar someone…and it was coming from behind a nearby bush.

Esther walked up to the bush and pushed aside the green branches to be greeted by the sight of Swaine cupping one hand around his stomach the other over his grinning face.

"Swaine! What are you doing?"

"Pfft-Oh man-the look on your faces-pfhaha-priceless! Ha ha!" The man now held both arms around his torso and had teary eyes from all his laughing.

Drippy bounced over to the man who was cracking up. "Oi, I was beginning to wonder where ya' were, but why are ya' hidin' over here?"

Oliver had come over as well and suddenly said, "Wait-our brushes…"

The ex-thief smirked, reaching into his trench coat and pulling out a small empty candy package with _Super Sour Green Grape Drops_ printed boldly on the side.

"Just had to get your brushes wet and rub those candies into them. It's been awhile since I've last pulled a brilliant prank like that-haha!"

"Well, if it was so flipping brilliant, why didn't you pull that one on your brother, mun?"

The man shrugged his thin shoulders. "Didn't have enough candies."

Esther was not entirely convinced as she glared at the empty package in Swaine's hand. "What do you mean, not enough? You did that to the three of us yet that box is supposed to have four drops!" It was true; the empty box had little spaces for the candies-four, to be exact.

"Ah-Well, I gave one to Gunther. He seemed to want one, and I didn't see the harm in it…" He stood up on his thin legs and brushed off his coat. "His face wasn't quite as funny as your faces, though. Haha!"

Esther's head suddenly grew an angry pulsing vein. "Oliver, hand over the frying pan."

"H-huh?"

"Just do it."

The wizard reached into his bottomless bag and with a shaking hand, handed the blonde the kitchen utensil. She raised the metal pan above her head and gave Swaine a look of pure evil.

"You. Dead. Now!"

"Uh-oh-well, I still win!" The man ran off for dear life with an amused grin as the enraged girl chased him like a serial killer, shouting for him to "Get back here right now!" at the top of her lungs, leaving Drippy and the other two behind.

* * *

"Mun, when are those two gonna be back?"

"Maybe we should go look for them?"

Oliver, Esther, and Drippy sat on the edge of the fountain at the square of Ding Dong Dell at the hustle and bustle of the residents while they walked about with their daily routines.

"I still can't believe ya' lost sight of Swaine, Esther! You were on his flipping heels!"

Esther crossed her arms over her chest with an annoyed pout. "That good-for-nothing thief-the moment he comes back…" She clenched her tiny fists with an ominous growl.

"Well, Marcassin said he'd meet us here once he found Swaine…" Oliver scratched his red-brown hair. Meanwhile, Drippy frowned and cocked his lantern to the side. "Hm? Is everything okay, Mr. Drippy?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Ollie-boy, but I can't get my mind off the fact that he spared his little bro on that prank." His nose tilted to the other side and tapped his tiny foot. "I mean, pullin' tricks like that are good and all-I'll give Swaine that-but you don't spare or pick favorites like that mun. One of the many rules in comedy and pranks is to include everybody when you're pullin' something like that! It's not fair and not nearly as fun!"

"Jeepers…I didn't know there were rules…"

The familiar tamer turned her sapphire eyes to the boys. "Hey, is there a rule that you can prank that person back?"

…There was a moment of stillness before the fairy's eyes widened as his tidy mind was plotting something.

"…Oi! Lass, you're a flippin' genius!"

"Hmm? You really mean we can-"

"Ha, 'course we can! We're gonna fight fire with fire!"

The young wizard looked a bit unsure of this idea. "Um…what sort of prank do you have in mind, Mr. Drippy?"

"Ooh…I've got just the thing!" His eyes gleamed mischievously, matched only by his grin. "Hmm, if we work together…yep, okay listen up, you two!" He hopped to the ground in front of their feet and faced them, pointing his lantern towards the two. "Ollie-Boy, I'm gonna need you to get together some ingredients and have ol' Al whip up our special little surprise for our thief and his brother."

"Huh? Why? What are we making?"

"Oi, it's gonna be a surprise, you'll see later! Anyway, Esther, we're gonna need you to put our mystery potion into our victim's dinner tonight, got it?"

The blonde perked up at this, desiring to get back at her friend's sour prank. "Sure! But what will it do? Is it extra spicy or bitter?"

Drippy shook his head. "Nah, mun, it's tasteless. But dun worry; you'll see the results in good time once they've ate it. Ohohoho…"

Oliver scratched his hair for a moment before saying, "Well,…okay. What do we need, Mr. Drippy?" Drippy gestured for the wizard to come closer as he waved his arm towards himself. The boy bent forward and turned his head so Drippy could whisper into his ear. Drippy's whispers were not comprehendible to Esther's ears, but Oliver nodded as if he understood.

"Oi, so ya' think you got it, Ollie?"

"Uh-huh!"

The Lord High Lord of the Fairies bounced with glee. "Tidy! Let's go prank shoppin', then!"

"Neato!"

The two jogged away from the fountain before Drippy turned around, shouting, "Oi, Esther, stay there! Tell Swaine and Marcy that we had to do some shoppin'! We'll be back!" With that, the wizard and his companion ran off, vanishing behind a corner.

* * *

"So are these the things you want me to mix, master?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Very well then!" Al-Khemi tossed the several ingredients into his cauldron and dove in as well. With a few shakes and puffs of lavender smoke, the red genie popped out, cupping his large hands around the result.

"Hmm…Oh, is this what I think it is?"

Drippy bounced onto Oliver's head. "Oi, it is, mun! But dun tell Ollie here; I want it to be a surprise!"

Al scratched his black beard as he opened his other hand up, revealing a bottle filled with a semi-clear liquid. He handed the cork-plugged bottle to his master. "I see. Well, here you go master. Until you need my services again!" Saluting Oliver, Al-Khemi disappeared back into his purple pot with a splash of lilac smoke.

* * *

Over a crackling fire, Esther stirred a large pot of rice while keeping her watchful eyes on another pan with tender beef sizzling with flavor. Oliver and the others were pitching up their tents for the night in the middle of the Golden Grove. It was decided that they would rest here for the night before continuing on to Al Mamoon.

The blonde looked over to the men and over her other shoulder. No one was looking; perfect! She carefully dug into her pocket and fished out the mystery potion Oliver and Drippy gave her. The girl could still hear the fairy's instructions about what to do with this strange liquid.

_ "Okay, lass, just put plenty of this into Swaine and Marcy's meals and mix it up real well! 'Bout half of that in each dish. But whatever you do, dun put any into ours. Okay? Tidy!"_

Uncorking the bottle, she stared into the container. The potion was fairly clear and odorless. _"Wonder what this stuff is; or what it will do…Well, one way to find out!"_

Esther got together three red bowls and two blue ones-the blue ones were to identify the victim's plates from the rest. The tamer scooped up the rice and beef into the dishes and poured the mysterious prank potion into the blue plates. She noted it had the consistency of a liquidly syrup. Using another spoon she mixed it into their plates to the point where the syrup was unidentifiable in the meals.

She smiled, thinking, _"Perfect! The trap's set! All we need to do now is sit back and watch the fun!"_

"Hey, everybody, dinner's ready!"

Oliver and the others looked up. "Neato!" The young wizard jogged up with Drippy right behind him with a "Tidy!". Swaine was about to follow them too, but was stopped at the sound of Marcassin's voice.

"Um, Gascon, could you help me, please?"

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's Swaine, oka-" The man stopped midsentence when his brown eyes caught sight of the porcine prince's dilemma; the sleeve of his royal jacket was stuck in the ground where a peg was hammered, leaving the pretty boy rooted to the ground by his right arm.

The older man bent down and pulled at the peg, trying to free the cloth from its position. "Hurrrg…Urrgh…Damn it, what'd ya' do, glue it to the ground?" The ex-thief pulled with all his might, but his thin arms were only making slow progress.

While the two men were occupied, Drippy turned his attention to Esther and Oliver. "Hey, Esther, did ya' put the stuff in?" The girl grinned and pointed to the two blue bowls, nodding. "Tidy! Good going, Esther! But I forgot to tell ya' somethin'," He turned around to check that the targets were still out of ear shot. "That potion won't take effect right away. Once they've eaten it, the fun won't start until later this evenin'."

"…Mr. Drippy, what is that potion exactly?"

"Hohoho…Oh, that's for me to know and for you to find out!" He winked and grabbed a red, safe plate, and began to dig in. "But in the meantime, just kick back and relax!"

* * *

The crisp night air was filled with the songs of crickets, the hums of nature, and the sounds of other invisible creatures of the night. Esther lay on her side, lost in her mind as she silently thought in her tent. Both Swaine and Marcassin ate their entire plates…but did not seem any different after the meal. It had been almost four hours since then and the girl was growing anxious.

Giving up on idle thinking, she crawled over to the tent flap and peeked outside. The moon was full and the tall trees of the Golden Grove turned the world into a twilight zone of silver lights and mysterious shadows. Suddenly a pair of masculine voices reached her ears.

"Dammit…What the hell is wrong with my body?"

"I have to agree...How long have we been like this?"

"Dunno, I don't wear a watch."

Esther raised her eyebrows; those sounded like Swaine and Marcassin's voices…but what was wrong with them? She squinted her blue eyes in the darkness, barely making out two silhouettes half hidden behind a few trees.

Oliver popped his head out as well, curious about the voices. He whispered "Esther? You're still awake?"

"Of course I am! There's no way I'm going to sleep through the prank! But what are they doing over there?"

"…I'm not sure..." The wizard crawled out of his tent. "I'm going to check on them…I'm worried that Mr. Drippy's prank went too far…"

As Oliver walked off into the direction of the men's voices, Esther recoiled back into her tent slightly, watching her friend disappear into the darkness of the night. She heard the crunch, crunch of his footsteps against the forest ground.

"…Swaine? Prince Marcass-jeepers!"

"H-Huh? Oliver?"

"Hey, don't just stand there, SCRAM!"

Oliver ran back towards the camp and dove back into his tent. Esther stared wide eyed, now even more confused. She perked up her ears again, trying to hear the rest of the men's conversation.

"W-well…that was embarrassing…"

"Damn it, can't a guy get some privacy?!"

Esther was tired of being left out in the dark. She turned back towards Oliver's tent. "Hey, Oliver, what's going on?"

"Um, well…"

"Oi, I bet I know what's up, mun!" Drippy's loud voice pierced the night air with enthusiasm, reaching everybody's ears…including a certain pair of men.

"Huh? Drippy?"

"Hey, what's going on over there?!"

The brothers emerged from the dark depths of the shadows, halfway out of the inky blackness.

"Whoa, wait a minute…did you guys put something in our food? Now that I think about it, we had different dishes from the rest of you guys, didn't we?" Swaine scratched his stubble with one hand.

Drippy jumped out of Oliver's tent and into a spot of silver light from the moon and the canopy of leaves above him. "Mmmm, oh, nothin' much… just a little bit of _Mr. Drippy's All Natural Laxatives!_"

A moment of silence vibrated through the air before everybody found their voices again.

"J-Jeepers!"

"Huh?!"

"Mr. Drippy's WHAT!?"

"You put _what_ into our foods?"

The Lord High Lord of the Fairies jumped with glee. "Hohoho, you heard me! They don't call me Lord High Lord of Pranks for nothin', you know! Hahaha!"

"Why you little…! I'm gonna shoot your little…uh-oh." Swaine's malice suddenly melted into discomfort as his insides mumbled and the man dove back into the dark woods. Marcassin's face also distorted and followed his brother.

"So…that potion was a laxative?" Esther turned back to the fairy.

"Uh-huh! And they're gonna be stuck like this for a while-haha!"

The ex-thief's voice screamed out again. "Damn it, you stupid little fairy! I'll get you for this, you hear me?! We've been stuck here without a wink of sleep!"

"Well, that's what you get for messing with our toothbrushes!" Esther rang out. Giggling, she recoiled completely back into her tent, satisfied with the end result of the prank.

"Wait, but what about me?" Marcassin said. "I didn't do anything!"

"Well, you didn't suffer from the 'sour-toothbrush' gag either, mun! Besides, now your poor brother won't have to suffer all alone, haha!" Drippy rolled on the ground, laughing at his work. Still chuckling, he hopped back into Oliver's tent, leaving Swaine and Marcassin alone in the dark woods.

"Oh dear…this is going to be a long night…" Marcassin turned behind his tree for the umpteenth time that night with his insides protesting for relief.

"You can say that again. Hey, Drippy, how long will it take for this stupid laxative of yours to wear off?"

"I can't flipping hear you~! La la la lala~!"

"Grrr…dammit, dammit, dammit…This is going to be a _really_ long night."

The rest of the night was quiet and normal save the giggling of Esther or Drippy and the two men who would be stuck out in the woods for the rest of the night.


End file.
